Monday 27 October 2014

Truth is Stranger Than Fiction....

The urge to produce lists on social media continues unabated; the most difficult of which I’ve seen has been to come up with 10 albums that mean the most to you. That is an impossible task, so I’ve set myself a possible, but exacting one; to come up with an album a year since I was born, by 50 different artists (except for 2000 and 2005 when my memory deserted me). To drop hints it begins with A Love Supreme and finishes with Dude Incredible by Shellac. If you didn’t know that, or that John Coltrane recorded A Love Supreme, why are you reading my blog? Anyway, I decided on a slightly different list; my 10 favourite non-fiction books, discounting text books and literary critical and philosophical works I read as part of my degrees. Shame, as I’m sure Wittgenstein and Barthes would have both made the cut. What occurs to me is that I need to read some cricket books, soon.


The Far Corner: Harry Pearson.  The best book I’ve ever read about football, because it is the best book about football. Harry’s timeless portrayal of the importance of the game in the region is simply unsurpassable. How I wish he’d write an update.

Fever Pitch:  Nick Hornby. The first example of new football journalism. Hornby was a nice fella when I met him and went on to have a great career as a writer, but this book touched me the most.

Stranger Than Fiction: Michael Crick. A superb biography of the appalling Jeffrey Archer, whose comment was “I hate this book.” Cold facts drip from every page as the Archer myth is brought toppling down. A great read.

 A History of Modern Britain: Andrew Marr. Detailed, fascinating and generally highly opinionated, from a smarmy right wing shyster, but intriguing to see so much of your life turning into history.

My Magpie Eyes Have Seen the Prize: David Cavanagh. A treasure trove of anecdotes about indie music’s second greatest label, Creation. If only he would write the Rough Trade story. 

Margrave of the Marshes: John Peel. Modest, elegiac, self-effacing, hilarious and disarmingly honest. The tragedy of his death is almost matched by the tragedy of how he left this unfinished. Ten years on, we miss his benign influence greatly.

Rebel Hearts: Kevin Toolis. A totally unapologetic examination of the social conditions that produce Republicans in the north of Ireland.  Sometimes shocking and sometimes depressing, but always honest, both by writer and participants.

The Kingdom by the Sea: Paul Theroux. A glorious tour of the British coastline in a series of beguiling vignettes of a world that has changed and gone forever.

The Miracle of Castel di Sangro: Joe McGinniss. I thought of The Selling of the President, but it was football that briefly brought Joe and I together as correspondents towards the end of his life, so this gets the nod. A mad tale of corruption and success against all odds in the most unlikely outposts of 1990s Serie A.

Golden Goals: Jackie Milburn. The first autobiography I ever read of Newcastle’s then greatest goalscorer. Worth re-reading on a regular basis as a counterbalance to the obscene money in today’s game.

Try reading those to this soundtrack -:

1964: John Coltrane – A Love Supreme
1965: Bob Dylan – Highway 61 Revisited
1966: The Beatles - Revolver
1967: Leonard Cohen – Songs Of
1968: The Velvet Underground – White Light / White Heat
1969: Fairport Convention – Liege and Lief
1970: Lindisfarne – Nicely Out of Tune
1971: Led Zeppelin – IV
1972: Neil Young – Harvest
1973: Roxy Music – Stranded
1974: David Bowie – Diamond Dogs
1975: Brian Eno – Discreet Music
1976: Poco – Rose of Cimaron
1977: Television – Marquee Moon
1978: Wire – Chairs Missing
1979: Gang of Four – Entertainment
1980: The Mekons – Devils, Rats and Piggies (A Message to Godzilla)
1981: The Cure – Faith
1982: The Fall – Hex Enduction Hour
1983: New Order – Power, Corruption & Lies
1984: 400 Blows – If I Kissed Her, I’d Have to Kill Her First
1985: The Jesus & Mary Chain – Psychocandy
1986: Run DMC – Raisin’ Hell
1987: That Petrol Emotion – Babble
1988: Sonic Youth – Daydream Nation
1989: De La Soul – 3 Feet High and Rising
1990: Public Enemy – Fear of a Black Planet
1991: My Bloody Valentine – Loveless
1992: Dinosaur Jr – Where You Been?
1993: Teenage Fanclub – Thirteen
1994: Pavement – Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain
1995: Earth: 3
1996: The Wedding Present - Saturnalia
1997: Blur - Blur
1998: Robert Pollard – Waved Out
1999: Fugazi - Instrument
2000: Teenage Fanclub – Howdy!
2001: Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds – No More Shall We Part
2002: Cornershop – Hand Cream for a Generation
2003: Mark E Smith – Pander! Panda! Panzer!
2004: Jens Lekman – Oh You’re So Silent Jens
2005: Teenage Fanclub – Man Made
2006: Yo La Tengo – I am not afraid of you and I will beat your ass
2007: Midlake – The Trials of Van Occupanther
2008: British Sea Power – Do You Like Rock Music?
2009: Blackflower – I Grew From A Stone To A Statue
2010: Vic Godard & Subway Sect – We Come As Aliens
2011: Trembling Bells – The Constant Pageant
2012: Godspeed You! Black Emperor – Allelujah! Don’t Bend! Ascend!
2013: The Pastels – Slow Summits

2014: Shellac – Dude Incredible

Sunday 19 October 2014

Popular Front

Issue 3 of "The Popular Side" was launched against Leicester City on Saturday 18th October; it sold out in printed form.... PDFs are available for £1 from iancusack@blueyonder.co.uk - here is a feature I wrote about the fanzine that appears in issue 10 of STAND, which has just been published....

In March 2014, Newcastle’s first and most enduring fanzine The Mag ceased publication after 288 issues and almost 26 years. In the eyes of many of us who had developed both writing skills and a shared anti conformist supporter vision  in the pages of it and several other defunct NUFC fanzines,  this unfortunate event seemed to indicate a troubling state of affairs, whereby a club the size of Newcastle United no longer had an independent, printed vehicle for fans to articulate their opinions, especially as other inspirational publications from Barnsley (West Stand Bogs), Stoke City (Duck), FC United of Manchester (A Fine Lung) and the game in general (The Football Pink), not to mention this fine publication, have established themselves, proving that the renaissance in vinyl sales is not the only nostalgic consumer area for the middle aged fan, or indeed teenaged  and twenty something hipsters, to divest themselves of disposable income.  

Newcastle United are not a successful football club. However we are a newsworthy club. Emotionally charged debate about the owner, manager, playing staff and potential future ownership and direction of NUFC fill the page after page in the local press, as well as immeasurable and interminable tracts of cyber space. However, the death of The Mag left a yawning chasm in terms of fan directed print media, which The Popular Side is seeking to plug, as well as addressing the tragic underutilisation of writing talent in the Tyneside area.

The plan for an old-school A5 fanzine was developed by  a gang of us over a few post work pints in The Northumberland Hussar one Friday night in June 2014. Like all good revolutionary movements, we set our ideological parameters before seeking converts. Paradoxically, our first decision was there would be no editorial line; all opinions, other than an obvious no discrimination and no platform for fascists policy, would be welcomed. We wished to be inclusive rather than exclusive, hence a ban on swearing, a refusal to print anything either anonymous or libellous and a wish to be constructive that meant we wouldn’t deliberately upset anyone. The right to reply is also sacrosanct. Finally, having been quoted £180 for 200 A5 28 page fanzines, we decided to be a not for profit publication, so we eschewed advertising and set a break even cover price of £1, as we had decided to run such a tight ship, there would be no free copies, other than to contributors.

Through word of mouth, we contacted 15 of the best NUFC supporting writers we knew, none of whom were professional sports journalists, who signed up to our vision of a low-cost, low-fi publication that could be bought on the street or in bars before and after the game. Several had written for The Mag and other publications and were keen to be involved. Again, as part of our focus on cost-cutting, we decided against selling the magazines in shops, as their 40% cut would push our price up; a compromise we were not willing to make. 

In addition to the policy of no adverts and no merchandise, we decided not to have a website, though mainly for aesthetic reasons. At the end of the 2012/2013 season, the Newcastle fanzine Toon Talk stopped physical publication, but limped on for 3 subsequent issues as a free download. The main problem those of us involved in that venture found, was working with the software, which meant the finished article was nowhere near the product we had envisaged. This taught us we are writers and not designers; consequently, The Popular Side is a word processed document, with black and white photos, often taken on mobile phones, exported into PDF format and then printed. It isn’t lo-tech, it’s no-tech. In all seriousness though, we concentrate on the written word and I can assure you the standard of our contributions is extremely high.  Essentially, we are a democracy; that’s why we list our contributors alphabetically, as nobody is more important than anyone else and I was delighted not to have to write anything for issue 1, as it proved there are sufficient people out there who care enough about their club to put their thoughts on paper.

When the Premier League fixture list came out, we identified the home game against Man City on Sunday 17th August as the launch date for issue 1. We established a Twitter account (@PopularSideZine) to publicise both our existence and, following discussions with friendly landlords, which pubs we were available from. A dozen of us assembled on a breezy Sunday afternoon outside the Tyneside Irish Club, ready for the inevitable home defeat, but more concerned about how the fanzine would fare. Lo and behold, having worried the venture would fall flat and that I’d be stuck with a huge amount of recycling, we sold out of every copy, meaning we had a decision to make about what happened next.

Clearly, there would be an issue 2, so we decided not to reprint the first issue, but to sell the PDF via PayPal for £1 (payment to iancusack@blueyonder.co.uk) and have sold a further 20 in this fashion.  In future, paper copies will be available for £2 (inc P&P) the same way. The profit we have, unintentionally, made on issue 1 means issue 2 will be longer and have a bigger print run. Even though we have identified 9 potential issue dates for 2014/2015 our continued existence is dependent on two things; firstly, contributors sending us articles and secondly, people buying the fanzine.

We made mistakes with issue 1; failing to number the pages or state it was a Newcastle United fanzine were two of them. The font wasn’t consistent and we failed to mention the price on the cover, but we’ll learn from that. At The Popular Side, we have no egos, personal agenda or business interests to pursue; this is all about Newcastle United and the complicated truth winning out over simple lies. Feel free to jump on board our vision.

Saturday 11 October 2014

Pink Press Threat....

Issue 3 of "The Popular Side," Newcastle United's only fanzine, is out next Saturday against Leicester, price £1 at the time, or via PayPal to iancusack@blueyonder.co.uk for £2 paper copies & £1 PDFs. In advance of its launch I was asked, in my role as co-founder of this democratic old school, A5 magazine, to to answer a few questions by "The Football Pink," which can be found at http://footballpink.net/ Here are my answers to the questions posed -:


I've read both of the first two issues of The Popular Side and despite not being a Newcastle fan I've got to say that it's got some superb content. Issue 2 in particular is top quality. How hard was it to get it all started?

Surprisingly, it wasn’t that difficult at all to make the idea a reality. I’ve been involved with Newcastle United fanzines since 1989 when I first wrote for The Mag, as well as many other long-defunct publications, such as Dave Jameson’s marvellous Half Mag, Half Biscuit. In 2004, I moved on to write for Steve Wraith’s players inc, which became Toon Talk and latterly Number 9.  For the 2013/2014 season, I was involved with a few other writers from The Popular Side in the final 3 on-line; free to download editions of that latter publication, which didn’t work out how we hoped, sadly. That experience, which taught us we were writers and not designers, plus The Mag ceasing publication after 288 issues and 26 years, left NUFC fans without a fanzine. A conversation in the pub one Friday night during the World Cup with the co-founders Steve Hastie and Bill Corcoran, led us to the decision Newcastle could probably do with an A5 old school, no frills inky fanzine and the belief that between us we had enough mates and contacts to get a launch issue together. A dozen texts later and we’d a name for this venture, a cover design and an enthusiastic squad of writers, many of whom have written for a whole range of fan publications, both NUFC related and more general, such as Kriss Kngihts (aka Billy Furious), Neil Mitchell, Paul McIntosh and Chris Tait, former deputy editor of The Mag, who made the salient point that if you’re an electrician and the company you work for goes out of business, you don’t stop being an electrician; you look for another job.

Hence, we were able to find some of the very best Newcastle United supporting writers and give them a platform for their thoughts. Additionally, the magic of Twitter (we’re @PopularSisdeZine) has enabled us to subsequently form links with many other NUFC fans, who fight shy of the media stereotype of the thick Geordie by being erudite, articulate and perceptive, seeking in nuanced terms to tell the complicated truth about our club instead of mouthing simple lies. Some of these new writers, like Matt Charlton or Michael Atkinson, are geniuses, plain and simple.   Thus, in that sense the first issue wrote itself, once we’d decided on a publication date on August 17th at the Man City home game. We had 28 pages and 17 writers. 

For issue 2, we encouraged a few others to put their thoughts on paper and were contacted by others keen to express opinions, meaning that in the end we had 40 pages and 21 writers, including 6 newly published ones. That’s pretty good value for a quid we feel. The problem, of course, is keeping the momentum going; the “difficult third album” scenario is upon us and it is up to us to source quality writers who can provide sensitive insights into the club.  We’re frankly not interested in rambling, badly-spelled tirades about the merits of Paul Dummett; stuff like that can stay on-line. 

You're a long time Newcastle fan but 'gave up' watching them regularly a few years back; why start a fanzine about them if your heart lies elsewhere these days?

While saying that my heart will always be with Newcastle United, I think I’ve partly answered that above; to me and many others it seems, the absence of a print fanzine devoted to NUFC was not just a crying shame, but a wrong that needed righting. To paraphrase Bobby Sands; everyone, active supporter or otherwise, has their own particular part to play.  While I’m not equating being involved in a fanzine with the struggle for self-determination in the north of Ireland, the point I’m making is that because I’ve been involved in writing for independent publications since the late 1970s and football specifically since the late 1980s, I know how to construct articles. Also, as I edit the programme at Newcastle Benfield in the Northern League, I know how to put a magazine together, even if it’s just a word document saved in PDF format. Consequently, I wanted to use my expertise to help give NUFC fans a voice. It isn’t an ego trip for me at all, as frankly I’m happy to take a back seat, proofing and subbing the pieces our writers submit; 26 years as an English lecturer makes you attuned to grammatical errors. 

Consequently, in issue 1 all I wrote was the editorial and in issue 2, I only contributed an article to enable us to get up to the magic total of 40 pages (PDFs have to be in multiples of 4 pages to print properly you see); otherwise I’d have had to pull someone’s contribution, which I’m firmly against. Not that we’d print any old tripe mind! To summarise I think my commitment to The Popular Side shows that  I adhere to the statement made by Tony Benn when he stood down as an MP,  saying he was leaving Westminster to devote more time to politics.

How do you see TPS developing in the next few editions? You're a no frills, low budget production that concentrates on writing quality. Any plans to develop it in other ways?

We set ourselves up as an old-school, A5, not for profit fanzine, with no website, no adverts and no merchandise as we’re not interested in having fellow fans fund our leisure choices. Issue 1 cost us £180 for 200 copies; we gave 20 away to contributors and sold out the rest, as well as shifting quite a few PDFs to turn a slight surplus. For issue 2, the printer kept it at 80p a copy, despite the extra pages and we had 300 done. It seems that was ambitious as we were left with 50 copies, as many on-line purchasers via Twitter, our one concession to the modern era, opted for the PDF. Consequently, our modest initial profit has offset a loss on issue 2, leaving us at our intended, ethical break-even point.  I think we’ll split the difference and go for a 250 print run next time.

Basically, we have no intention of changing our format; if we make any profit in the future, we may go for a glossy or colour cover, as much to highlight the superb work of our resident artist Michael Atkinson. The main thing we would like is to encourage new and different writers to contribute to subsequent editions. Ideologically, we are a loose collective of writers of equal parity of esteem, bound by an interest in Newcastle United; there’s no rigid, inflexible, dogmatic ideology set down by self-elected, supposedly charismatic autodidacts for “followers” to adhere to. If there were, I wouldn’t be involved. There are no bosses at this publication and there’s no list of philosophical commandments to follow, other than our obvious refusal to countenance the publication of anything discriminatory in any way. 

As we don’t know what the shelf life is for The Popular Side will be; we’re just enjoying the journey.  Having established our credentials among Newcastle United fans with the first 2 issues, by demonstrating our honourable intentions and the quality of our magazine, we would fondly hope to diversify our content to include work from a whole range of different contributors. We are acutely aware of having not published any female writers, or those from the Geordie diaspora, or supporters of other clubs with something to say, though we’re working on it. Frankly, anyone is welcome to contribute, providing they can write and adhere to deadlines. That latter point is the perennial moan of fanzine editors the world over; that and a lack of willing bodies to flog the thing on a match day. We’re no different in that respect, but the only thing that would get us to pack in would be a lack of volunteers prepared to do more than just submit their 1,000 words and wait for the contributor copy to hit the doormat, which takes us back to the Bobby Sands quotation I guess…

What are your thoughts on the current turmoil on and off the pitch at St. James' Park?

As stated above, The Popular Side has no party line, so this is a personal take. If I wanted it to, I could allow this answer to take up my every waking moment until the team next plays which would then probably require something of a rewrite in the light of subsequent events, so I’ll try to be concise. Basically, I’m not surprised. In my opinion, Pardew used all his privileges up at the end of the January 2013 transfer window when he was presented with a batch of potentially excellent signings that he has conspicuously failed to utilise in any meaningful way. As a result Debuchy came and went; Yanga Mbiwa is in the departure lounge; Haidara is scandalously out of the team, while Sissoko and Gouffran labour and toil, being played out of position. Similarly, summer 2014 saw the highly encouraging signings of Janmaat, Colback, Cabella, Riviere and the injured De Jong. These are good players who are woefully underachieving and the reason for that is simply because, being blunt, Pardew is an absolute clown; a vain, narcissistic, gauche, populist clown. However, he is only the symptom; Ashley’s toxic reign is the actual disease. Replacing Pardew with another malleable, useful idiot is as pointless an exercise as I could imagine. He may lose his job, or he may not; second guessing Ashley’s motives and strategy is a fruitless activity.

What would you like to see happen at the club (realistically)?

My personal mantra is this; whoever manages or plays for Newcastle United and wherever they finish in the table remains an utter irrelevance while Mike Ashley has possession of the club. We don’t need some mythical, benevolent Geordie billionaire to turn up and shower his largesse on the club, what we need is Ashley OUT and 100% Fan Ownership IN, though I’m prepared to accept 51% Fan Ownership as a transitional demand. Is this a dream? Yes. Is this attainable? Possibly. Is this realistic? I would like to think so. Politically, I am a supporter of the Socialist Party of Great Britain (and other companion parties of the World Socialist Movement). It has been the SPGB’s position since 1904 that the Labour Party are no different to all other capitalist parties and eventually people are coming round to our way of thinking, which is instructive when considering events up Barrack Road. It means, NUFC fans need to think long term; the club was formed in 1892, but Ashley has only been around since 2007. Before his disastrous ownership, there was Shepherd, Hall, McKeag, Westwood et al; none of that lot displayed loyalty to anything other than their own love of profits and dividends. As supporters, we cannot trust capitalists with the stewardship of our club. In an ideal world, through guilt or fan pressure, Ashley would give the club away, to the fans and the city, to be run as a non-profit institution for the whole region, with democratically elected structures and accountable executives subject to immediate recall. This may not happen in my lifetime, same as Socialism, but I believe it will one day, for the greater good of all humanity. The actual details of how it will occur show that the future is, as yet, unwritten. That realistic enough for you? I was going to say I’d like us to win a cup in my lifetime, but that’s a total impossibility.

Any plans to be an SJP regular again? What would it take?

Define regular… After packing in my season tickets a few years ago after my dad’s death, my son’s decision to play rugby (league not union!) on a Saturday and my own involvement with Percy Main Amateurs in the Northern Alliance and then Newcastle Benfield in the Northern League, not to mention still playing for Wallsend Winstons in the North East Over 40s League, I’ve got more than enough to do on a Saturday as it is without trooping up to SJP.

Frankly, I simply cannot conceive of a series of events that would stop me watching non-league football every weekend between now and the end of my days. So, the answer is probably no and nothing. That said, I’ve been to plenty of games since I packed in my season ticket; probably about half a dozen a season, generally when they’re on a Sunday. I’ve enjoyed most of them as well, other than the tedious whining of those around me who don’t appreciate the finer points of the game; if you’re used to watching the Northern League, then the Premier League at close quarters is a massive leap in standard, which means sometimes you’re obliged to just appreciate the quality of opposition play, rather than seeking to blame Williamson, Tiote or whoever for every opposition goal. When I know I can make a particular game, what I try to do is to buy tickets from fellow fans who are unable to go for whatever reason, as I’d rather they weren’t out of pocket, rather than give my money to the club.

This season, I’ve not seen the team at all, even on the telly as I don’t have Sky. I was disappointed when Hull got knocked out the Europa League because I would have gone to that one if it had been put back 24 hours. I’m planning on Everton on December 28th and Burnley on 1st January as my next two visits to SJP.  Although, as I’m now 50, I have to admit that the older I get the more intimate I like my pubs, gigs and football matches. Also, if pushed, I would have to admit that I find the politics of Newcastle United much more fascinating than actually watching the team play, whereas with the non-league game it is the exact opposite.

 Do you think the fanzine scene, like vinyl, is making a comeback and is now viewed as 'cool'?

I’m not sure if “cool” is the correct word, but there certainly appears to have been a significant renaissance in what will always be a niche area. As someone who loves obscure indie, post punk, folk and folk rock, I’m used to spending a lot of time in second hand shops and at markets leafing through stock, spending the last decade replacing vinyl I’d got rid over during the two decades previous. There is something ineffably magnificent and tactile about a record, a book or a fanzine that the digital equivalent can never hope to emulate. Of course, the quality has to be there; superb publications such as A Fine Lung (FC United of Manchester), Duck (Stoke City), Mudhutter (Wigan), West Stand Bogs (Barnsley), Stand (general) and your own magazine, have done their bit to ensure, often via social media, that there is a sustainable and loyal market, with the potential for growth, for well written publications. I’m not just saying that as all the fanzines mentioned have used my work either. In addition, it should be noted that fanzines aren’t just about football; my mate Joe England, the West Ham fan who was in issue 2, edits PUSH, a sold on the street literary fanzine, full of poems and short stories. He sells PUSH outside the Boleyn Ground to home and away fans; I think that’s an amazing development and something I personally would be very keen to develop, perhaps outside of the confines of The Popular Side.

As well as having sold out your first issue, what other feedback have you had on the fanzine?

Obviously we’re tiny; 200 copies of issue 1, then 250 copies of issue 2, including PDFs, made it into the public domain, so any feedback has tended, by definition, to be personally tailored. We’ve only had 1 negative comment; this fella Shaun, who’s a Whitley Bay fan from Jarrow with a residual support for Sunderland said of issue 1; “it’s crap; all about Newcastle.” Personally I think that says more about him than us, but no matter.

 Seriously, the only constructively critical comment we had was that, despite saying we would have no adverts in issue 1; the article by Billy Furious was a glorified press release for his new book. That’s something I agree with in retrospect. Everyone else has been highly complementary, though we don’t exactly have a high profile among the on-line community as yet.

What was the first fanzine you ever read?

As I’ve mentioned previously, I’m as much as music obsessive as I am football fan, which meant I was a voracious reader of late 70s publications such as Sniffin’ Glue and Temporary Hoarding that chronicled a post punk scene of gigs, squats and Peel sessions somewhat removed from my own teenage experiences growing up in Felling. As far as football fanzines are concerned, I was too young to be aware of Foul, which first came out when I was 8 in 1972, but I did find myself in the right place at the right time while living in North West London in 1986/1987, getting a very early copy of When Saturday Comes from Rough Trade in Notting Hill and falling in love with the concept. Back then I worked with two fellas Ed (a Wealdstone fan) and Steve (a QPR supporter); we’d take turns to watch their teams at home, or Newcastle if they were in the capital and I remember buying early editions of The Elmslie Ender and In the Loft. Before moving back to Newcastle, I had a year in Leeds, though I watched Bradford when I couldn’t see Newcastle and developed my enduring passion for City Gent. Consequently, moving back to Newcastle, I realized what The Mag would be about and so started my football writing career; 25 years later I still find the urge to write almost every day.

If Newcastle fans (or any other club's supporters) wish to get hold of a copy, how do they go about it (we thoroughly recommend it - Ed)?


Basically, through PayPal to iancusack@blueyonder.co.uk PDFs of issue 1 and 2 are available for £1 each, while paper copies of issue 2 cost £2 for UK to include P&P. We’d rather not send physical copies abroad because of the prohibitive cost of postage. If you include an extra £1 with an order for a paper copy, I’ll send you my book Village Voice about Percy Main Amateurs as well. If you want to buy a copy at a Newcastle home game, the Number 9 on Stowell Street, Tyneside Irish Centre on Gallowgate, before and after, or The Bodega on Westgate Road, after the game, are your best bets. You can keep in touch with us on Twitter via @PopularSideZine where we’ll announce whether issue 3 comes out for Leicester City on 18th October. 

Saturday 4 October 2014

The Three Johns

Saturday 4th October; nostalgia... Over 40s away to Fiddlers Three at Heworth School, trip to lay flowers on Grandparents' grave in the cemetery and then Jarrow Roofing v Benfield, with their front pairing of Ex Benfield John Campbell and Ex Heaton Stan Jon Jon Wright. Well, that was the idea... Over 40s lost 3-1 after being 1-0 up with 15 to go and I was sub unused... The shop opposite The Swan at Heworth is now a shop, so no flowers... Jon Jon has gone back to the Stan and Benfield lost 1-0; meh... However, I did pen this article for the brilliant Jarrow Roofing programme, which had to be edited because of Jon Jon's transfer; so here's the uncut version, for posterity's sake...


As the UK economy continues to buckle under the death agonies of capitalism, the effects of the longest recession since the 1930s bite even the more privileged sections of society. The offspring of their white collar and professional classes find their degrees in the Sociology of the Mass Media from Doncaster Institute of Higher Education to be of less value than a book of Green Shield Stamps and so are forced to take mindless jobs in the 21st century equivalent of workhouses; the Call Centre. Those who fight shy of the mind forged manacles of a desk in such dark satanic mills are forced to amble languidly across the globe, taking temporary jobs behind bars that they are temperamentally and linguistically ill-suited for. Such anti career choices are laughably known as a Gap Year, which is a concept that can be applied to non-league football.

Since their arrival in the Northern League in 2003, Newcastle Benfield have been my Northern League team. For six years, I watched them in conjunction with Newcastle United, where I held a season ticket from 1988 until 2009. Fairly obviously, the last half decade of attendance at SJP brought no pleasure whatsoever, unlike visits to Sam Smiths, or even trips to away games following the Walkergate Brazilians, as I styled them. I was at Dunston Fed on May Day 2007 to see an Alu Bangura goal win the Northern League Cup against Nissan. I travelled to Penrith in May 2009 to see Stephen Young’s late winner bring the Northern League title to Benfield, in the last game to be played at Southend Road and I saw the finest ever goalkeeping performance at this level by Andrew Grainger, also against Penrith, as the double was secured with a League Cup win over Penrith a fortnight after the league game. Benfield were my team and I was delighted to call myself a fan.

Then, suddenly, I hardly saw them for the next 4 years. In summer 2009 I accepted the offer of a place on the committee with Percy Main Amateurs in the Northern Alliance and thoroughly enjoyed my time with them, publishing a book about the 2009/2010 season, Village Voice. Despite my skillset being completely at variance to what was required at Purvis Park (I’m completely impractical, but good with words, when the Villagers needed someone to help keep the ground in good working order), I was happy enough to stay with PMA. 

However, things change and it is often time to move on, though I truly feel I’ve reached the end of my spiritual journey and my non-league wanderings are at a close. It is time to put down roots and I don’t intend to leave Benfield ever. That said, it’s always nice to catch up on old friends and former players, which is why I’m looking forward to seeing Roofing’s front two of John Campbell and Jon Jon Wright; the Three Johns as I call them, even if nobody else does.

While I never saw John Campbell at Heaton Stannington at all and only briefly and infrequently at Newcastle Benfield, I must say that he scored the best goal I’ve ever seen at Northern League level. A cold and bleak January afternoon in 2011; the 15th it was, with Newcastle United inactive the day before a trip to Wearside for a 1-1 draw, back in the days when we didn’t lose to them. Percy Main were without a fixture and in search of entertainment, I came back home to endure a forbidding and unforgiving wind from the west that brutalised the hunched and round shouldered gathering of supporters, huddled in front of the clubhouse at Sam Smiths Park, all of whom seemingly querying the wisdom of leaving the comfort of their hearth for a contest such as this. The opposition were Billingham Synthonia, who were to finish 12th in the league, while Benfield would end up in 4th spot and win the League Cup against Spennymoor, courtesy of another incredible performance by Andrew Grainger.

That was the future; the reality was an attendance of 40, the lowest of the season and a third of the club’s average that year, who were warmed by the amazing finishing of that man Campbell. Midway through the first half Benfield had a corner on the right, attacking the bowling green end. The ball was headed away back towards the touchline, resulting in a touch and hit cross to near the edge of the area that grazed the head of a defender. Stood unmarked 25 yards out on the left, Campbell reacted instantly; with the ball still 3 feet off the ground, he launched a first time volley with indescribable pace that exploded into the top corner of the net. The proverbial postage stamp finish. I’ve never seen a ball hit that hard and that accurately, with such breathtaking technique, at our level. 

Typically enough, to prove that fairy tales don’t exist in sport the same as all other aspects of life, Synners grabbed a late, undeserved and scrappy equaliser to rob Benfield of 2 points. So what? Nobody seeing Frank Worthington’s goal of the season for Bolton Wanderers considers the fact Ipswich came back from a goal down to win at Burnden Park that day; everyone simply admires the skill involved, which is what I continue to do.
In contrast to my infrequent sightings of John Campbell, I saw 40 of Jonathan Wright’s goals for Heaton Stannington last season; some (many!) of them were spectacular, such as his hat trick against West Allotment, or stunning late winners against Whickham and Tow Law, but none matched Campbell’s amazing finish. Yet Jon Jon still has a record in my eyes, as he notched the best goal I’ve ever seen in the Northern Alliance, for Heaton Stannington, against Percy Main. March 2012, a month that ended gloriously with Newcastle toying with Liverpool in a 2-0 victory that saw Andy Carroll dragged off and Jose Enrique humiliated in goal, was unseasonably warm and dry; on St Patrick’s Day, the Villagers travelled to Grounsell Park. The bone dry pitch was bumpy and treacherous; with the Stan heading for the title and Percy Main in lower mid table, the fixture seemed to be a home banker, yet the surface was acting as a leveller.

Jon Jon had already missed an early penalty, awarded for handball, seeing his sidefoot effort roll a yard wide of the goal, with Rob Rodgerson going the wrong way. Just as frustration was creeping into the Stan mindset, Wright intervened with the decisive moment of the game, putting the ball in the net for the only goal. Tony Browell was a stalwart at the back for Percy Main for a decade or more; the rock at the heart of the defence and the very epitome of a club legend. Skilled and confident in the air, he rose to forcefully nod away a hopeful punt forwards from almost on the D. The ball went 30 yards forward and, just past the centre circle, the advancing Jon Jon honed in on the ball. Without allowing it to drop, he unleashed a venomous, low volley that reminded me of Shearer’s incredible finish against Everton back in 2002. Needless to say, Rodgerson was left immobile by the precision of a strike that Jon Jon has said is his favourite ever goal. As I say, it is the best I’ve ever seen in the Alliance.


So, here’s to John Campbell and Jon Jon Wright; two brilliant strikers who I fervently hope draw a blank today. Nothing personal lads, it’s just Benfield’s interests I have to put first.